I don’t want to go on shopping,
I don’t want to go to stores.
They only want your dough,
Everywhere you go
There must be a better way to spend the weekend!
I don’t need another handbag,
I have six or more at home.
But it really is a bargain,
A super, super bargain
So I’d better get it while it’s going so cheap, cor blimey.
On Monday I bought myself an iPad,
On Tuesday a glossy magazine,
On Wednesday, success! I found a lovely dress,
On Thursday it was late night shopping.
Friday was Bogoff day at Tesco’s,
On Saturday I shopped until I dropped,
But on Sunday after supper, I knew that I was scuppered
I’d gone and spent everything I’d got, cor blimey
I don’t want to go on shopping,
I don’t want to go to stores.
They only want your dough,
Everywhere you go;
There must be a better way to spend the weekend.
I don’t need another handbag,
I have six or more at home.
And what if it’s a bargain,
A super, super bargain?
I’ll be better off without it in the end!
Notes
The tune is ‘I don’t want to be a soldier’, a First World War song, used in Oh! What a Lovely War. Here is a YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24ChyqT1t6Q. The writers of the song are unknown, and there are various versions, some of them very rude! See this discussion on Mudcat Cafe.
‘I don’t want to be a soldier’ in turn appears to have originated as a parody of ‘I’ll make a man of you’, a music hall recruiting song from 1914 with words by Arthur Wimperis and music by Herman Fink. Sheet music can be found here: http://www.nla.gov.au/apps/cdview/?pi=nla.mus-an6054303-s3‑v (the chorus is more or less the same tune).